By I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining types of the teachings of a course in miracles acim, and fo the first time in a lengthy while, I don’t feel alone.
Part of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I could be doing this for the incorrect reason; as a means to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to generally share wasn’t yet clear in those days; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have let you see inside. Don’t want it troubling your brain, won’t you allow it be?” This confused me as I really could not think of anything that I had said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the absolute most prominent fear I had in visiting the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere with its residents’reassurance, by just my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief is being (has been?) released.
You can find other issues that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.